Gratitude

Almost all of us have experienced harsh or unmerited criticism by someone we love or look up to. Many of us know what it felt like to be made fun of as kid or be undercut by a co-worker. Some of you have felt the pain of being deceived by a friend, an unfaithful spouse or been violated verbally, sexually or emotionally by someone you trusted. Over time, these create wounds – wounds that grow deep and spread wide roots.  They each start with a moment of hurt that leads to deeper pain and eventually become entrenched within us. 

These hurts that turn to deeper wounds mount up over time.  It isn’t usually one hurt or painful experience that creates bitterness within us, but an accumulation of hurts and painful experiences that we let go unaddressed.  It is similar to plaque that builds up in our arteries over time that leads to heart issues or losing muscle over time because you haven’t continued to keep up on your strength development.  These aren’t things physically that happen overnight or that you notice right away; but over time, they accumulate to cause us weakness and problems. This is true of emotional and spiritual pain that turns into deep rooted weaknesses and issues.

Anne Peterson tells the story of a 92-year-old woman, Jenny, that she had known for 50 years.  Jenny told her the same story with the same amount of passion in her voice for 50 years about a time when her older sister wouldn’t give her $1 for new shoes. In all of these years, Jenny has never forgiven her sister. This hurt has become entrenched in her soul.  This hurt has become a bitter root – growing deep and wide within her.  It has discolored many of her experiences and relationships over many years.  Like a magnet, every time she tells the story, it pulls her back into the hurt and injustice that occurred so many years ago.

Can you relate to this story? 

Have you had a similar experience?

Is there something or someone you are hanging onto that continues to cause you deep pain and bitterness? 

Most of us can relate to Jenny’s story and pain in some way.

And the thing is, until we reach the point we are tired enough of the pain and bitterness ruining our life, we won’t seek change.  If you aren’t tired enough of the pain, you can stop reading now. If you are tired enough of the pain to want something different in your life, then please read on!

What I am about to share isn’t anything earth-shattering. It probably isn’t anything you haven’t heard before, but you may be intersecting it at just the right moment where you are tired of living the way you have been and God meeting you in that place.

In Hebrews 12:14-15 it says:

Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

There are a few things of note here that when applied to our lives can provide healing.

The context is seeking “holiness.” In other words, an active seeking of the Lord.  The writer goes onto to exhort the reader to not miss the grace of God. How do we do this? By taking God’s grace for granted rather than recognizing that God has given His Son to die to forgive our sins and cleanse us from sin and its effects – including guilt, shame, wounds and hurts that turn into bitterness in our lives. Taking for granted the grace of God causes us to miss His grace and become self-absorbed. Being self-absorbed leads to a life of self-centeredness that shrinks our hearts, thus not allowing us to accept the grace of God and being able to extend this grace toward others.

Like the story Jesus told about the man who was forgiven by his king but wouldn’t forgive those who owed him that worked under him (to check out the story, go to Matthew 18:22-35).  This man would receive punishment – mostly living in his own hurt, pain and bitterness. 

As you can see, the antidote to overcoming bitterness and most negative emotions in our lives is embracing the grace of God – God extending to us His mercy, compassion and healing – and living in it with appreciation and thanksgiving which leads to a life of gratitude!

One more thing I want to point out to you from Hebrews 12:14-15 is where it says the bitter root will cause trouble and defile many.  Bitterness is something we can hide and keep from others but it isn’t. It’s like a beach ball that you keep trying to shove under the water that just keeps popping up.  Bitterness and negativity will just keep popping up, not just in your own life, but in the lives of the people around you.  In other words, the very bitterness we try to hide and contain, will eventually hurt and contaminate the ones we love most.  This should greatly motivate us to become tired of living this way and begin to address it.  Isn’t it true that the last thing you want to do is defile your spouse, your children, your grandchildren and others you love with your bitterness?

The antidote to bitterness is to live a life of gratitude based on the grace that God has extended to you.  So, what is the next step? To bring all of your hurts, pain, bitterness and every other negative emotion you have been carrying to the Lord.  I know it sounds simple. I know you may have tried this before. But I want to encourage you to do it again.  This is your time! This is your divinely appointed moment to meet God and His freeing grace.  I will close with these encouraging words from the writer of Hebrews…

“For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet He did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need”

This is your time of need. I invite you to bring your needs and yourself to the throne of grace and receive all God has for you – His mercy, love and healing.

God bless you and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Jack